IMRAN's In My Humble Opinion

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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

DO’s, DOESN’Ts And DON’Ts, If You Love Grammar – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on June 21, 2017

What a great photo this is that I just had to Share and comment on. I LOVE the photo for its tongue in cheek humor, implied sexuality, obvious voyeurism & exhibitionism and innuendo. Plus, I love the grammar lesson too that so many need. See the bottoms of the shoes.

Now we need a photo that explains the difference between DON’T and DOESN’T which so many people are too oblivious or don’t seem to know. 
Even worse, some blame ‘auto-correct’ when, in fact, if they even type DOESNT without the apostrophe, auto-correct would fix that to DOESN’T.
As I always say, “Artificial Intelligence cannot fix Natural Stupidity!”  Siri can’t fix Lazy, Stupid or UnderEducated. 🙂
The funny thing is how native English speakers would make fun of foreigners or foreign-born people, especially low-income immigrants, for their accents or supposed poor English.
These days it is foreign-born people who still speak proper English compared to the bast majority of my fellow Americans. On top of that, almost every year it is always immigrant minority kids that win major spelling competitions.
I do not see things getting any better for the standards of education, including English, what to say of Maths and Science, with Donald Trump in the White House and his ignorance-embracing mindset and policies that make George W. Bush seem like a genius.
What do you think?
Imran Anwar
© 2017 IMRAN™
 

Posted in Commentary, Donald Trump, Education, George Bush, Grammar, Humor, Immigrants, Imran, Imran Anwar, language, Marriage, Photography, Romance, Seduction, Sensuality, sexuality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on DO’s, DOESN’Ts And DON’Ts, If You Love Grammar – IMRAN™

Driverless Cars Better Than Brainless Drivers – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on December 10, 2016

Michigan is about to approve cars without drivers or steering wheels on its roads. Some people will worry. But a driverless car is better than cars with moron drivers, especially the ones I see everywhere in the USA, but especially in Florida or in NY on the Long Island Expressway.

You know the types of drivers I am talking about. The ones with a genetic inability to turn their fat neck to look over their shoulder, the ones without a brain capable of processing moving over from the fast/passing lane, or the ones without a decent upbringing to know now to be @a$$#0¬3$ on the road.

At least driverless cars will signal when turning or changing lanes, not hog the passing lane like a fat stupid obnoxious pig, or drift between lanes while texting. And I am being polite. LOL

IMRAN™

Posted in Automobiles, Cars, Humor, Imran, Long Island, New York, Opinion, Safety, Society, Technology, Travel | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

i/Robot Vs i(Need3)Robot(s)! – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on January 14, 2016

When the lapdog henchmen treasonous military officials under dead dog dictator General Zia had me arrested and court martial(ed) for being a student leader opposed to his CIA-backed, US-funded, fundamentalist-creating, government, I was among several people thrown in Kot Lakhpat Prison, in Lahore, Pakistan… of course after being beaten up quite well by 6 cops, sentenced ostensibly to 2 years hard labor without any defense allowed by some two-bit colonel in Summary Military Court (SMC37), shackled and thrown off a truck on reaching prison…the amazing thing was how my mind immediately started looking forward to making that a positive experience. I immediately decided I would request 3 things to be sent to me.

These would be sheets of paper and some pens so I could write a book (still not done since 1982 LOL), learn to play #music (with the ground breaking Casio VL-1) and, yes, a Rubik’s Cube so I could learn to solve it. In the decades since, I wrote a lot but did not actually publish a book, I made a music CD but did not actually learn to play piano or guitar, but one thing I did not even get to try much… the Cube.

Good thing I waited so long, as you can see from this video, when even a rudimentary robot can effortlessly solve it. Auto-Melody and Accompaniment & Tune programs already exist in music, making untalented people like me sound tolerable. Now all I have to do is wait for the one that will take all my writings, organize them and publish a couple of books for me. LOL

Imran Anwar

Posted in CIA, Democracy, Dictatorship, Freedom, Imran, Imran Anwar, Inspiration, Life, Music, Politics, Technology, Video, Writing | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Pakistan’s Head Case Of Maligning Malala And Denigrating Its Noble Nobel Prize Winners – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on October 12, 2014

It boggles my mind how a once proud and capable country like Pakistan has worked extra hard to become a nation of self-loathing, miracle-waiting, pedagogue-worshipping, people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions, expect Allah to step in with a magical leader to fix the problems the people themselves cause and accept, while blaming everyone on the planet for the issues.

A majority of my fellow Pakistanis, including supposedly educated ones, are the only people who can detect things that even scanning electron microscopes or the Hubble Telescope cannot see. They see conspiracies everywhere. If there was a Nobel Prize for conspiracy theories, Pakistan would have dozens of recipients of the award. 

Sadly, Pakistan is the only country I know of that goes out of its way to malign the only two Pakistanis to win Nobel Prizes. They spit on Dr. Abdus Salam (Physics, contributing to understanding of the forces that make the universe work) because he is from a non-Muslim sect. They despise Malala because obviously she must have won the Nobel Prize (that she deserved to win solo last year even more than shared with someone this year) as a tool of the anti-Islam West and Zionist forces.

These Pakistanis come across sounding like Taliban apologists. The irony is that the first word that was spoken in The Message of God to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was “Iqra” — READ. How tragic that evil Taliban and their Al-Qaeda cohorts malign true Islam by shooting education seeking teenager girls in the head and blowing up children and schools in Pakistan. 

Even more hilarious than the funniest monologue by late Robin Williams or any standup comic in the world are the faux-rational questions people ask, or reasons they give, for why Malala won the Nobel Prize. They see a massive global conspiracy of everyone on the planet in what happened. For them, here is the absolute truth which I am certain will make perfect sense to them. 

One evening Malala and her family were sitting at dinner and said, how can we get rich and famous.

The father said, hey, why don’t we arrange to have you shot in the head and it will all work out great. She said, Awesome!

They flew to Switzerland and had a meeting with the Rothschild family, which obviously leads the group of Jews that run the new world order. They got into a conference call with Benjamin Netanyahu (sadly a real life war criminal) and President Obama, who agreed to fund the project to insult Pakistan.

Then they invited every member of the Nobel Prize committee from Sweden to Switzerland for high tea, to get agreement they would give her the prize as an insult to all Muslims.

A Jewish doctor came and examined Malala’s head and pointed to the exact spot she should be shot with a gun.

She was so happy… knowing she would soon be able to make speeches, after a little bit of a headache of course!

The family then took a briefcase of Dollars from Obama (who happens to have had a Muslim father) and a gun from India’s Modi (sadly, a murderous politician in real life, responsible for a massacre of Muslims in India).  

They took out a help wanted ad in Taliban Daily Noose. They picked the applicant to shoot Malala in the head.

The rest, as they say, is (a) history (lesson).

I repeat what I have said many times before. “A nation that does not recognize its own problems, that does not take control of its own destiny, where every single individual knows, believes, and acts to do what he or she can to change and improve their part of society and their nation, is bound to continue into a death spiral. Where stood what was once a great nation all that would remain is a pile of waste, destruction, chaos and blame.”  

Until Pakistanis wake up and smell the reality, it starts with the man in the mirror, Pakistan will continue to be populated by people whose entire energy and creativity is spent on coming up with conspiracy theories that are funnier than George W. Bush’s idiotic utterances, or Joe Biden’s retarded faux pas; that are more complex than the inside of Optimus Prime in Transformers; and more creative than the “Final Unifying Theory Of The Universe.” 

If these people actually believe in all their conspiracy theories, I am told there is more funding available so they can volunteer to have their teenage daughters shot in the head to become famous and rich.

My fellow Pakistanis, please stop being a head case. Stop maligning people that bring far more honor to our country and religion than the Taliban whose actions you seem to justify or the pseudo-religious and populist people you are following as leaders. Stop those who seek to destroy what opportunities we have to become the honest, responsible, educated, hard working, God-fearing but tolerant people our Prophet would smile on, and make Pakistan a country Quaide Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah would be proud of having founded. 

What are YOU going to do starting today, to be a better person, and to make your part of Pakistan a better place?

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Reason #1 That I Don’t Get Anything Done! Life Is A Beach! – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on August 17, 2012

Reason #1 That I Don't Get Anything Done! Life Is A Beach! - IMRAN™ by ImranAnwar
Reason #1 That I Don’t Get Anything Done! Life Is A Beach! – IMRAN™, a photo by ImranAnwar on Flickr.

Life is neither a bed of roses, nor a day at the beach. As a matter of fact, as I took this photo with my iPhone 4S, with the late summer Atlantic rip tide churning near my feet, I was contemplative.

The weekend brought with it an unexpected twist, an as yet unresolved challenge, which in context of history in my family is a matter of concern. But, as I sat in the wet sand, the reddish summer dusk starting its moody glow over my shoulder, I realized how blessed I am, have been, and, God willing, will be, until it is my time to go.

In the meantime, there is never a moment that I do not want to waste the opportunity to play with words, to jest with life, to mock fate….

A twist on a “Wish You Were Here” card came to mind, especially as it gave me an excuse to make excuses for all the excuses I cannot make for all the things in life I need to get done, but procrastinate away the precious hours. 🙂

Yet, for all that, there are moments, even hours and days, when there can be no better way to savor one’s blessings than to do nothing but soak in God’s gift all around all day, and then take a break!

All the best to you, all, my friends.

© 2012 IMRAN
IMG_7016_PSF

Posted in Humor, Imran, Imran Anwar, iPhone, Life, Long Island, Nature, New York, Philosophy, Photography | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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