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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

DO’s, DOESN’Ts And DON’Ts, If You Love Grammar – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on June 21, 2017

What a great photo this is that I just had to Share and comment on. I LOVE the photo for its tongue in cheek humor, implied sexuality, obvious voyeurism & exhibitionism and innuendo. Plus, I love the grammar lesson too that so many need. See the bottoms of the shoes.

Now we need a photo that explains the difference between DON’T and DOESN’T which so many people are too oblivious or don’t seem to know. 
Even worse, some blame ‘auto-correct’ when, in fact, if they even type DOESNT without the apostrophe, auto-correct would fix that to DOESN’T.
As I always say, “Artificial Intelligence cannot fix Natural Stupidity!”  Siri can’t fix Lazy, Stupid or UnderEducated. 🙂
The funny thing is how native English speakers would make fun of foreigners or foreign-born people, especially low-income immigrants, for their accents or supposed poor English.
These days it is foreign-born people who still speak proper English compared to the bast majority of my fellow Americans. On top of that, almost every year it is always immigrant minority kids that win major spelling competitions.
I do not see things getting any better for the standards of education, including English, what to say of Maths and Science, with Donald Trump in the White House and his ignorance-embracing mindset and policies that make George W. Bush seem like a genius.
What do you think?
Imran Anwar
© 2017 IMRAN™
 

Posted in Commentary, Donald Trump, Education, George Bush, Grammar, Humor, Immigrants, Imran, Imran Anwar, language, Marriage, Photography, Romance, Seduction, Sensuality, sexuality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on DO’s, DOESN’Ts And DON’Ts, If You Love Grammar – IMRAN™

Driverless Cars Better Than Brainless Drivers – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on December 10, 2016

Michigan is about to approve cars without drivers or steering wheels on its roads. Some people will worry. But a driverless car is better than cars with moron drivers, especially the ones I see everywhere in the USA, but especially in Florida or in NY on the Long Island Expressway.

You know the types of drivers I am talking about. The ones with a genetic inability to turn their fat neck to look over their shoulder, the ones without a brain capable of processing moving over from the fast/passing lane, or the ones without a decent upbringing to know now to be @a$$#0¬3$ on the road.

At least driverless cars will signal when turning or changing lanes, not hog the passing lane like a fat stupid obnoxious pig, or drift between lanes while texting. And I am being polite. LOL

IMRAN™

Posted in Automobiles, Cars, Humor, Imran, Long Island, New York, Opinion, Safety, Society, Technology, Travel | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

One Of The Few BLONDs I Would Eject & Run From – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on August 28, 2016

Everyone knows of my weakness for beautiful women in general, and gorgeous blondes in particular. I would never press Eject or run from them unless they are bipolar or two-faced.

I also happen to love Music of almost all types. Other than a few notable exceptions though, rap, especially the cuss-violence-hate-lack-of-talent filled kind that seems to get most popular because of the ghetto gangsta culture popularized in some communities and by some media, is not on my favorites list. That is why I hardly ever heard of Kanye West types unless they did stupid, or ridiculous, or criminal stuff that got in the news.

Despite all that, I had fallen in love with the song “No Church in the Wild”. Kanye, JAY Z, Frank Ocean. Not one of them a person I had ever bought a song of, yet this one quickly became one of my 50 Most Played Songs ever. Surprisingly full of poetry, music, politics, religion, society, history, more music, lyrics, and deep ideas… all wrapped into one song. A song to be remembered for a lifetime by any artist, even though it had 3 major names behind it.

That song was where I first got to know about this, well, artist. Though Kanye, JayZ, et. al. are not in my playlist except that one incredible song above, when I was on iTunes updating apps today, I saw this new album being promoted. I clicked to hear what the much hyped album BLOND by Frank Ocean album would offer.

I clicked, and listened, and then the next one, and then the next one, and…. Now I know the good reason that the “Artist” is hiding this face on the album cover.

The first few tracks sounded like typical B- to B+ songs one can find in many albums. But due to some technical bug, it seems most of the remaining song files got corrupted on iTunes and every CD that was manufactured. I could not hear decent music. I could not hear anything poetic. I did not hear lyrics. I heard some possibly human sounding voices cussing and more like whining than singing.

Then I realized, I had to write this review and save you from wasting your time, if you ever consider getting or hearing BLONDE by Frank Ocean.

What do you think?

© 2016 IMRAN™

Posted in Hollywood, Humor, Imran, iTunes, Music, Review, Social Media, Society | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on One Of The Few BLONDs I Would Eject & Run From – IMRAN™

Wide Roads, Narrow Humanity, In China – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on August 10, 2016


Q. Why are Chinese roads built so wide?

A. To leave room for traffic to get around dead accident victims laying there.

Help a dying man?.. They have such hectic social lives these Chinese running/driving by. Ain’t nobody got time for that….

This video shows that the only thing cheaper than the Chinese junk we buy here is Chinese lives in China . Shame.

Even in countries with frequent terror attacks like Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc., where terrorists detonate additional bombs to kill the innocent people gathering to help bombing victims, decent people still rush to help.

Shame on every single person that ignored this victim and kept on going.

What do you think?

IMRAN

 

Posted in Afghanistan, China, Humor, Imran, Iraq, Murder, Opinion, Pakistan, Society, Terrorism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Time To FaceTime The Unfiltered Facts! – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on June 7, 2016

Posted in Humor, Imran, Imran Anwar, IMRAN.TV, ImranAnwar, In My Humble Opinion, Opinion, Photography, Social Media, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Make You Very Cross/Word Game. National Scrabble Day. – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on April 13, 2016

Posted in culture, Education, Family, History, Humor, Imran, Imran Anwar, Lahore, Life, Life Lessons, Memories, Pakistan, Parents, People | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Hanger Games: Catching Fire! – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on April 7, 2016

Posted in Business, China, Dictatorship, Elections, Family, Humor, Hypocrisy, Imran, Imran Anwar, Politics, Republicans | Leave a Comment »

Out Of This World Views On Religion, Space & Terrorism! – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on November 23, 2015

Non-Muslims worry that the sons of swines members of #ISIS somehow represent all 1.5 Billion Muslims. If their actions make all Muslims #terrorists then the thousands of child rapes by countless Christian priests in Churches worldwide, including here in America, would mean all Christians are pedophile child rapists. Are they?

Keep in mind Muslims are united in believing only a few things. There’s only One God (Allah in Arabic) that Adam, Nosh, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and Mohammad brought the message of. They believe in Mohammad as the final prophet in that line. They believe in the day of judgement, heaven and hell. And they believe that the broken roads in their countries, the electricity power failures, their internal bribery driven corrupt cultures, and probably even solar flares are all due to a Zionist conspiracy.

Everything else that can be disagreed on, is disagreed on.

As most people living in #Pakistan know, we #Muslims can’t even sometimes agree which day our #Eid#holiday falls on, with greedy halvah-swallowing mullahs play with telescopes arguing about sighting of the new #moon, here on Earth, which only has one moon.

#God help us if we lived on #Saturn which has 62 moons orbiting it! Talk about #Religion making your head spin. We already have dozens, if not hundreds, of Muslim sects, condemning each other to hell for the way they stand in prayers, or the length of their pants/bottoms. Imagine a Muslim astronaut being told he’s going to hell because his spacesuit shows or conceals his ankles the wrong way.

So, my fellow human beings and especially Christian or non-Muslim friends, the planet’s Muslims are ISIS as much as you are a pedophile. Meaning, don’t go for the foaming at the mouth neo-con hate-mongers whose words of hate about Muslims would get them thrown out of their jobs if they said them about Jews or other groups. All of us, all decent people, of all religions are under threat of ISIS.

Is there an increased risk, even near certainty, of ISIS wolf packs and lone wolves killing innocent people in our countries? Yes, unfortunately, certainly there is. But even here in America our biggest killers remain handguns and drunk drivers way more than any terrorist groups. But no one wants to pay attention to or stop those killers.

If anything, the evil ISIS, AlQaeda, Taliban, Boko Haram, have killed 100,000s more Muslims than they have barbarically and un-Islamically murdered non-Muslims. But 100,000 Muslims killed by terrorists in Pakistan, Iraq, Syria, etc. get 2 inches of newspaper space on Page 5.

When terrorists kill anywhere from 10-100 in a place like Paris, it becomes a global tragedy. That in itself plays right into the terrorists hands who will obviously want to carry out attacks that get news coverage.

Even worse are the media hypocrisy and dual standards of justice we show. When a non-Muslims murders 30 (thirty) people in an attack, he is an “alleged shooter”. If a so-called Muslim kills 3, repeat three, people, it is a massacre by a terrorists. The non-Muslim who kills 30 gets life in prison. 

The moron younger brother involved in the deaths of 3 people in the Boston Marathon was declared a terrorist who got the death penalty even in bleeding heart (hypocrite) liberal Massachusetts.

All this plays right into the hands of AlQaeda and ISIS as “proof the West hates Muslims” and gets them even more recruitment success. That puts us all at even greater risk of terror attacks here.

May my fellow Americans who are maligning all Muslims and Islam for the actions of ISIS wake up and smell the coffee of logic and facts. And, may these ISIS type terrorists be pelted with 62 Saturn sized spinning fireballs in Hell when they think they’re getting 72 hot virgins to take for a spin. Amen x 72 x 62!

What do you think?



— Typed on a cell phone screen, excuse any typos if you’re a grammar fundamentalist.

Posted in Christianity, Freedom, Humor, Islam, Pakistan, Religion, Space, Terrorism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Holier than thou religious hypocrites, Go F…, I mean, go save yourselves! – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on October 9, 2015

Organized Religion is the best business humans ever created, but its execution, no pun intended, was the worst thing for mankind. 

Religion should be simple. You and God (or gods if you believe in more than one) do NOT need an intermediary driving up in a Rolls Royce to yell at you like a rock star, taking your money, and making up whatever they want, as they drive up TV audiences. 

You do not need someone who can be an ex-Nazi one day and suddenly become infallible the next day. You don’t need someone who does not give advice on how to be a better human being but on what country to label the Great Satan. You do not need clerics with bad breath, worse personal hygiene, and worst demagoguery, yelling on loudspeakers five times a day on the need to go kill others instead of trying to work hard to solve corruption and crime in your own society.

Most major monotheist religions were PROGRESSIVE revolutions at their time of being founded. They literally all brought down major empires not by the power of their semi-automatic weapons, but by living great lives and setting wonderful examples which others wanted to emulate.  It is a tragedy these same religions  now attract the least intelligent, or at least the least free-thinking, kind of people in every part of the globe. 

Here is one way to look at it. The stories in the holy books were to illustrate good things in simple terms that people of that time could understand. Can you imagine Prophets Moses or Jesus or Muhammad trying to explain to people of their times the history of the universe in terms of the Einstein’s equation, or the size of the universe in light-years, and it being billions of years old? 

The tragedy is that the self-styled “true” believers of all of these major religions (and others too) today take the 1500-5000 years old words as LITERAL. There are people who insist the world is 5000-10,000 years old. There are people who will insist with a straight face that the moon was split in two, just like the river was parted at one man’s command, and so much more. 

All of them do this instead of doing what is needed. People can progress with the times but still remain true to the real ideals and ideas, which were the foundations of the religions. Of being good, doing good, not stealing, not killing, etc. and making the world a better place. That part people in almost every religion tend to ignore and would rather bomb someone for their religion, burn someone else alive for theirs, or behead others for theirs. Shame. Shame. Shame.

If all these Prophets could come back for a day with their swords, or whatever tool they preferred, I would like to think that the first group they would behead (or castrate {wink})  would be these false prophets in all the religions — whether those who burned ‘witches’ at the stake or today’s mega pastors or pedophile Christian priests; or the rabid Zionist Jew occupiers of holy lands burning Palestinian families alive; or the sons of satan of ISIS murdering and beheading innocent people (from other religions but ironically mostly killing Muslims!), for political power in the name of Islam

Shame and all of God’s and all gods’ curses on these evildoers all. Let the good people of the world believe what they want to believe, without needing special agents of God. Let them live and let live, not needing to feel as if they have the one true answer or that it is somehow their job to judge everyone else, or to “save” their souls, sometimes by killing them, as all major religions have done! 

Holier than thou hypocrites, Go F…, I mean, go save yourselves! 

Let humankind live and love in peace and harmony. Amen.

Posted in AlQaeda, Christianity, History, Humor, Imran, Imran Anwar, Islam, Israel, Muslims, Palestine, Religion, Terrorism, Zionists | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Reason #1 That I Don’t Get Anything Done! Life Is A Beach! – IMRAN™

Posted by imrananwar on August 17, 2012

Life is neither a bed of roses, nor a day at the beach. As a matter of fact, as I took this photo with my iPhone 4S, with the late summer Atlantic rip tide churning near my feet, I was contemplative.

The weekend brought with it an unexpected twist, an as yet unresolved challenge, which in context of history in my family is a matter of concern. But, as I sat in the wet sand, the reddish summer dusk starting its moody glow over my shoulder, I realized how blessed I am, have been, and, God willing, will be, until it is my time to go.

In the meantime, there is never a moment that I do not want to waste the opportunity to play with words, to jest with life, to mock fate….

A twist on a “Wish You Were Here” card came to mind, especially as it gave me an excuse to make excuses for all the excuses I cannot make for all the things in life I need to get done, but procrastinate away the precious hours. 🙂

Yet, for all that, there are moments, even hours and days, when there can be no better way to savor one’s blessings than to do nothing but soak in God’s gift all around all day, and then take a break!

All the best to you, all, my friends.

© 2012 IMRAN
IMG_7016_PSF

Posted in Humor, Imran, Imran Anwar, iPhone, Life, Long Island, Nature, New York, Philosophy, Photography | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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